I wish life could be like this.

Wonder Woman intro 1975:

The Sorcerer and the White Snake

The Sorcerer and the White Snake. 2011. The saturation of overly-sentimental romantic notions combined with the brusque fortitude of Jet Li hunting demons, allows this movie to be kick-ass; while shamelessly flaunting its overuse of CGI affects. This movie manages to have captivating fight scenes without actually encorporating many fight moves. <<According to Wikipedia Jet Li says he has never been more exhausted..."After fighting the White Snake, fight the Green Snake. After fighting the Green Snake, then fight the demon. After fighting this demon, then fight another demon. After fighting this demon, then fight the water monster. Everyday on set I was letting out a big sigh." Why's this guy so tired? He stays pretty stationary for all the fight scenes and gets to wave his magic staff around a lot. Regardless, I'm into it.
Kung-fu movies haven't been a forte of mine, but the road beckons. Much of our campy fights come from old kung-fu movies: this I know. <<XENA>> I always appreciate themes calling for the balance of good and evil, and who doesn't want to see some hot snake babes slithering around being mischevious?
Susu white snake demon falls in love with poor herbalist Xu Xian by transferring some of her vital essence to him. Vital essence=life force=pure energy=magic=qi. Jet Li master monk of the Pure Land Buddhism sect makes sure this doesn't go smoothly. The film has inspired me to read Chinese legends. Why can't the demons just stay in their own realm? The grass is always greener, I guess.
The pure playfulness of the serious and catastrophic situations contrast well with the gut wrenching love story. -Always satisfying to immerse yourself in a fantasy world, just to learn they have the same problems as us. The end scene is probably the most dramatic thing i've ever seen. Let's leave it at that.

*Netflix instant viewing alert* 

Hercules

Hercules. 1983. This Hercules movie is a purposely made entertaining enigma, blending Greek mythology with a mix bag of other styles and ancient stories. After going through the processes of my dutiful attention to detail, this film has jumped out as a straight up testimony to faith in religion over science. Particularly the often alluded to religion of... Christianity. DUN DUN DUN. Sword and Sorcery at its weirdest.

At the meeting of the Gods, on the rocky terrain of the moon Zeus and his godly associates discuss the fate of Hercules (played by Lou Ferrigno, body builder, future Hulk). Using divine intervention to immaculately concept Hercules, the gods entangle Hercules' life in their feud regarding the importance of godly divinities against that of science. Catholicism anyone? To further fuel this fire Hercules does battle with stop-motion robot machine beasts in the forms of a fly, a 3-headed hydra, and a centaur. All of these robot beasts are conjured by the female god-like divinity Dadelus (Icarus' Dad?), an advocate for science(evolution?). Other Christian references: baby Hercules found in a basket on the river, having to swim for 7 days and 7 nights', etc.

Italian director Luigi Cozzi included everything one could want out of a B-rated movie. The visual and auditory special effects are of kitschy note with floating props in space, bursts of color, special appreciation for echoed voices, detailed miniatures, and zingy space noises. The enchantment of the movie was only enhanced with the amalgamation of styles including, sci-fi, futuristic, Greek/Roman, Arabian, and even Prehistoric. Plastic shields, swords, and crowns add a humorous touch to the oddly visceral  film. The glowing Jesus-esque rock, rocket-pop colored waterfall, and Gates of Hell provide some killer visuals. The talk of the sorceress' use of black lotus is a shout out to Robert Howard's Conan the Barbarian-Represent.

Of course, Hercules comes out triumphant. Beats the bad guy. Gets the girl. Establishes a moral order amidst a chaotic world. Basically put by Bonnie Tyler we....♫ need a hero I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night He’s gotta be strong And he’s gotta be fast And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight I need a hero I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light He’s gotta be sure And it’s gotta be soon And he’s gotta be larger than life♫ RIGHT??

Hercules represents freedom of oppression, the shedding of uncertainty, human resolve, and.....really big muscles. Totally excited to watch Cozzi's sequel The Adventures of Hercules, for some more Lou Ferrigno and daffy S&S.

Barb Wire

Barb Wire. 1996. I love this movie. Thank you Pam for giving us this gem. This American post apocalyptic setting in a city of mayhem is spearheaded with Pam's (or should we say -Barb Wire's) sultry, apathetic, war-hardened, and in charge demeanor.

Based on the Dark Horse comic book series Barb Wire, and also loosely based on the plot of Casablanca. Living in America's last "free-city", Barb owns a night club and commits moonlighting jobs as a hit girl for hire. As an ex-member of The Resistance, she now stays neutral, and has no qualms being sexy about it. Doesn't any self-respecting woman wear leather bustiers as full outfits in the middle of a war zone?

The film features memorable moments like another "Elvira style" high heel in forehead, Barb's constant reminder towards men: "Don't call me Babe.", and an outrageously obese villain named Big Fatso.


Quick clip/don't call me babe/'nuff said:

dark. hit woman. leather. boobs. guns. stunts. True Babes And Blades favorite.

*Netflix instant viewing alert*

Elvira Mistress of the Dark

Elvira Mistress of the Dark. 1988. (my birth year). Chock full of Elvira's vivacious over-the-top quips and quirks; this film debut of the already established horror show hostess, is an entertaining breakthrough into film.

Her ginormous tits and ditzy fun-loving personality will definitely satisfy a craving for some campy babe action. The plot centers around gaining knowledge of her witchy descendency, and fighting the conservative PTA of the small Massachusetts town. <Chants to Twisted Sister, "WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT."> Makes several mentions of those unpredictable and wayward heavy metal lovin' freaks.

Quick Clip/Running from evil uncle/shoe stuck in forehead/break chains with tits:

Looking forward to watching Elvira's Haunted Hills the sequel. 

*Netflix instant viewing alert*

Xena: Warrior Princess

First post for Babes and Blades. Only suiting it should be regarding the television series Xena Warrior Princess. (1995-2001) Xena and her trusty sidekick Gabrielle, sent me barreling down the cinematic road of strong weapon wielding women with fiery gusto and over the top humor. No matter where my campy film viewing has brought me I always ricochet back to Xena and Gabby.

Besides seeing some babes kick some serious highly unlikely and beautifully orchestrated ass, what is this show really about? C'mon people say it with me...FRIENDSHIP(or lesbians). Six whole seasons of it. Encompassed in all the guts and glory, you get some real feel good life reminders. -Not to mention the familiar cheesy humor of producers Sam Rami and Robert Tapert (Evil Dead Trilogy).

Quick Quote/Fan Favorite/ Season 2 Episode 15 A Day In The Life:
Gabrielle: [Xena has destroyed a frying pan using it as a weapon] Xena, this was our only frying pan. Why do you do that? You have weapons, don't you?
Xena: I like to be creative in a fight. It gets my juices going.
Gabrielle: Can we cook with your juices?

Xena's noteworthy weapon the Chakram, when thrown, slams and slices her opponents and other objects before returning to Xena's awaiting grip with its ever steadfast boomerang motion. Inspired by the Indian throwing weapon chakram or chalikar.

*Netflix instant viewing alert*

Let's kick start this blog off right. BABES AND BLADES.

GIVE IT.